• I once reported my roommate to INS. Turns out she’s clean,
  but I’m glad I did it.

• I’m gonna grab one of those bulls over there and ride into town like a
  conquistador to challenge Hatcher to a duel, show him who the real tooth fairy is.

• I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?

• If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of
  jealous countries not talking to each other.

• never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back
  it tells you what the story is about.

• If I become a fan of myself, does that mean that every time I update my wall
  it will send an update to my wall?

• remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.

• I’m searching for my happy place. I could have sworn I
  left it next to the television..

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